Thursday, August 13, 2009

Bearing Their Burdens

Is it just me.. or does anyone else get physically exhausted from bearing our kids burdens. It is amazing how worked up and concerned I get for my kids.

This week is the week that Kate found out her school schedule. It's always a kind of tense experience because each child has their idea of expectations for the year... who they want to sit with at lunch, have class with, which teachers they "heard" are good.. etc. Somehow even though I am not the 6th grader, the feelings, concerns and stresses all treat me like I am. I'm sure I'm not the only one with this problem.

Then, I have one little person who I've just come to realize doesn't ever want to invite friends over. She just doesn't ask. I offered her the opportunity recently, and she just said.. No thank you. I'd rather go out and do something special with you. What does that tell me?? Do I read too far into it when I assume that she's become antisocial, or do I just appreciate that she's feeling like she needs a little more mom time. Could it possibly be the 21 hours she spends at the gym surrounded by girls and maybe just needs a break from people? Or, is she not clicking with girls her age because she's always surrounded by older girls?? I don't know.. but I'm still laying awake worried about it. Throw in her gym routines, her diet (she barely eats) and her school schedule next year.. and I'm up all night.

Then there's the cute little third child who is incredibly overlooked due to his ability to entertain himself. Should I be worried that he asked if he could move in with his cousin for the whole summer just so he can play summer baseball on his team?? Forget me and Dad.. the coach asked him to play.

Well, Clayton is just one in himself. His main concern is making sure his dress up clothes still fit and what he wants to be next Halloween. Even still.. I find myself worrying about his prek next year, his inability to sleep without a diaper (all of my other kids were in underwear at night by now), and his still crying about things he "wants". I just think we should be past fit pitching at age 4.

It's just stressful to bear it all. Now, I ask myself.. is my concern going to change anything? No, but I never want my kids to feel alone in their hearts. I just want them to know that they don't have to bear anything alone. Just as Christ does for us. Sometimes I just have to ask myself... is any of this going to matter in 10 years? Probably not....