Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Want and NEED

This holiday season, I just have "want and need" on my mind. I think we are totally confused about what those words mean. I'm talking to all of us. To clear up any confusion.. want, according to Webster's Dictionary means.. "to feel a need or a desire for"... need means..."Something that is necessary for organisms to live a healthy life".

Now that we've cleared that up, I just feel so burdened by the confusion we have and are creating in our kids for what we want vs need. My 12 year old does not NEED an iphone 4gs.. and neither does yours. I do not NEED a larger house. I may enjoy some of the amenities that a larger house would offer, but I don't NEED one.

Recently my kids were complaining about our house. Honestly because the majority of their friends live in houses that are signifigantly newer and larger than ours. As I was listening to them, I was thinking about truly what they need that they don't have. I couldnt think of anything. So, I ask my daughter, " Okay.. so while I look for a new house for us, tell me what you need that we don't have so I can find the right one". She just looked at me and could think of nothing. The reason why?? Because we have all that we need.

I see us as Americans so wrapped up in wants. I am guilty. My kids are having ridiculous Christmases. I'm just being honest. They are all getting things they don't need but want. It does frustrate me a little that we say we "need" the expensive jeans or we "need" an xbox. No we don't NEED any of that.

Another thing my girls do not "Need" is a boyfriend. These girls at 14 and 12 do not "Need" a boy to make them feel like they are somebody. The very day they start thinking they "need" that to be happy is the day our problems begin. What a hard life for a little girl who grows into a lady thinking she "needs" the presence of another to be somebody. I will be the first to tell you that my husband is my everything. He is all that plus some and I do "need" him. I do think he contributes to me having a healthy life and living.. as the definition says, but with that said, we've been married 15 years, and he has become part of me. These young girls do not have that bond nor do they need it. What they need is to grow into ladies who love the Lord more than anything else and trust God to provide them an excellent spouse at the appropriate time. They don't "need" to be heartbroken and hurt beginning at age 12 with a repetious cycle continuing through their young adult life. Just my soapbox. Now, I'm all about the date to homecoming and the harmless "going with" boy that you never actually go anywhere with, but I want to clarify that the moment our kids "NEED" a person in order to be happy, we better stop and look at what we're doing. You think I'm kidding... I drive lots of carpools, listen to lots of conversations with kids and read lots of texts. Stop and listen and you'll be amazed by what you hear.

I'm preaching to myself here. The Lord has shown me what I "need" so many times and taught me patience along the way. I patiently waited for Chad. I didn't have lots of boyfriends in highschool, and I know it's because I was waiting on Mr. Perfect. The Lord has brought me to a point before where I needed $600 to pay my house note, and patiently waited until the Lord delivered at the last minute. I lost my first baby, and patiently waited on the Lord to provide me with kids. It wasn't easy, and I wasn't feeling patient at the time, but I see now where he was working on my patience and showing me what I truly "need". The list goes on..

Anyway, I just want us to remember that it's not always about pushing forwarding for what we want. I see us all doing that, yes, even me.. and it scares me. If my kids want the top of the line best thing now, what do they have to look forward to working for? And yes.. I say this as I'm wrapping Miss Me Jeans and other things that we do not "NEED" and putting them under the tree.