Saturday, March 5, 2011

Why are "I'm Sorry's " So hard?

So once again it's 1:26am and I can't sleep. Could it be the Pepsi Max that's currently in my refrigerator? While I'm laying awake and the house is quiet, I'm just thinking and praying and having some good ole soul searching time. I just started thinking about I'm sorrys... You know, the I'm sorry that you're hurting or I'm sorry I was late.... just the meaning of I'm sorry.

To me, I'm sorry is so powerful. Sometimes it's just what we need to hear to get a feeling of peace instead of dread in of our hearts. And it works both ways. Everytime I've ever delivered an I'm sorry.. It actually felt GREAT too. It's amazing how an argument just can't continue when I'm sorrys are delivered.

I can think of a couple of times as a little girl when I got fussed at pretty heavily by my mom, went to my room crying, and a little while later had my mom come find me and say " Kes, I'm sorry. I went too far. " I can't tell you what that meant to me as a little girl. And now as a mom, thinking about the example that set for me is priceless.

Recently, Caroline received a text from her friend that was something to the affect of "That was really not nice what you did at lunch," Well, my Caroline.. and love her, I do... often times doesnt even realize she's upset a friend. She's just programmed a little like her Daddy and sometimes her sensitive side doesnt show up. She just doesn't even realize. Well, as soon as this text arrived to her phone she told me about it. I asked her what she did and she couldn't remember.. but clearly she never meant to hurt her friends feelings, and obviously it was bothering her friend. Caroline simply texted back.. with some mom coaching, "I'm so sorry I hurt your feelings. I would never mean to. Please forgive me." Those words are so powerful if you think about it. She kept her friend.

Last week I sorta blessed out the director at Clayton's Pre K. She slipped a note in his lunchbox telling me I owed $10 for a late pickup. Well, I couldn't for the life of me remember picking him up late, but it's probable with the life I lead. I went in and asked about it.. she got defensive, I called her bill pathetic and walked rudely out.. in front of others. I KNOW>.. totally embarrasing. Well, it bothered me all day. As much as I tried to justify that I was right, it still bothered my heart. I knew that I should have handled the situation better and really didnt honor Christ with my words, so later that day I called her and apologized... with all of my kids in the car.. totally embarrasing, but honestly, I couldn't live with myself until I did. It felt great!

I always find myself apologizing to Chad too. I'm sorry I ran the debit card out. I'm sorry I didn't wash your undershirts... I'm sorry I got a speeding ticket in your new truck ;(.. which reminds me... The I'm sorry with the Police officer got me NOWHERE... Any way. Sometimes apologizing to the ones closest to us is the hardest.

Last week Caroline had a friend say, "My mom said I have to tell you I'm sorry.. so, Sorry". Some would say that wasn't heartfelt and forget it, but what I say is Kudos to mom for teaching her daughter the importance of I'm sorry... being humble and precious before a friend and making a wrong situation right. Teaching our children to have a heart for others and not always for ourselves is so important. It speaks volumes.

So, I guess I would say all in all... if your heart tells you that you need to, just say I'm sorry. You'll both be blessed :)