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Friday, February 13, 2015

That's what love is...

A few years ago, I was gearing up to go out of town with Chad for a few days.  This was a much needed trip.  It was for business, but none the less, it was a get away without kids.  At the time, my life was consumed with Clayton's cancer treatment.  We had just finished radiation and were about halfway through with his chemo treatments, so my days were spent making this okay for all involved while begging and pleading with God to make the treatment a success and to heal my son.  In all, it was a stressful time for us, but a precious time as well as I was totally surviving on my faith and my walk with the Lord.

The Trip to Indianapolis 
   It was the night before my trip, and someone told me there was a book I just HAD to read while I was gone. She handed it to me and said enjoy. She said  it was the BEST BOOK EVER and my husband would thank me for it.  The night before I left, I started to read this book.  I am not a book worm, don't read a lot, and really don't know much about current books, so I unknowingly began reading.  About two chapters in, I realized that this book was not a match for me.  I realized that the God I know, love, serve and was trusting to heal my son, would be so incredibly hurt by the idea that I would fill my heart and mind with such disgust. The book was returned to its owner that night before my trip, and  my heart was broken. You see, there is NO WAY I could read that book and pray for the Lord to heal my son. No WAY. My heart broke because people I know, love and walk beside had no trouble reading it.  I don't understand that, and I probably never will.  I'm sure the you all know the book title by now.  Yes, it was 50 Shades of Grey.  
     Rather than discuss how vile and full of pornography the book is, which I can't fairly do because I only got 2 chapters in, I'd like to tell anyone who is searching for love what true love is. You see, it's not premarital sex, handsome men in suits..( although I do love my man in a suit)..., women willing to do ridiculous things, or exotic sex toys.  Here's what real love is, and for those who are still searching, I truly pray that you find it.
     True love is.... Loving me purely and completely on my wedding night,  holding my hair back as I am vomiting from severe morning sickness, holding my head against your chest as the little heartbeat we just saw became a lost dream..a miscarriage, telling me we'll try again, understanding my fear when we got the next positive pregnancy test, being there when she was born, encouraging me when she wouldn't sleep, and I questioned if I was mommy material, telling me I looked beautiful a week after giving birth and 30 pounds too heavy, walking together in fear as a business didn't go as planned, waking up and  praying over me..all the time, loving my kids, being patient with me when the house is a mess and I burn dinner, coming to get me when I'm scared, picking me up off the floor when I'm told my son has cancer, sleeping with me in a twin size hospital bed for 10 days because I can't be alone, taking the phone call because I can't, working so I can be home with our kids and NEVER complaining about it, being an active part of our children's lives, forgiving when it's undeserved, saying "I'm Sorry" when it isn't your fault, making a commitment to be faithful and never wavering, keeping your mind pure and only for me,  respecting me in public, encouraging me to be the best me, and most importantly putting Christ first in our lives... the list goes on. 

   True love exists. I live it and am so incredibly thankful for the gift. Happy Valentine's Day, Chad Castle. Thank you for loving me so completely. To those who read the book and/or saw the movie, we serve a God who loves us and forgives us and is able to make all things new.  It's okay.  You are always loved, always held and He is always waiting for you.

3 comments:

Christi Daughenbaugh said...

Kes, this is just BEAUTIFUL. I'm completely with you on what you said on the book, and it is so precious to read these thoughts and feelings you have toward Chad after knowing and loving you both for so many years. Thank you for sharing this with the world and with me.

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